time, time, time

I am once again looking at my midnight deadline, while tabbing back to play Bejeweled Blitz. The game soothes some sort of order-seeking part of my brain. It is both a time-waster and some kind of not-exactly-helpful anxiety soother.

Tetris fulfilled similar needs, in addition to being the first computer/video game where I could outshine my brother and the neighborhood boys.

I've been contemplating my time management as of the past few weeks, and I realize that I need more exercise time, structured time for household tasks and less time playing computer games.

When I was your age.

I am the last of the analogue babies. I was born in 1977.

I have a not-much younger than me co-worker who occasionally says things like, "those emails you used to get in high school", and I really can't relate.

When I was in High School I knew one peer, and a small number of adults who had email addresses and used the internet. Sven, my email savvy peer, was rather odd, in a cool way. In a playing D&D with people in Australia kind of cool. I also had the opportunity to use email in an office job that I had in school. The modem was a large, clunky affair, and getting online was a challenge, and online accounts were billed by time connected.

When I graduated and moved onto college, suddenly most people I knew had email addresses and internet access. The change happened over a matter of months.

When I was young, the card catalogue in the school library was a piece of furniture comprised of small drawers that contained 3 x 5 cards with information typed on then with a typewriter. If your classmate was using the "M" drawer to look up books on moths, you had to wait your turn in order to research Manhattan. It seems kind of absurd now.

There were computers in my childhood. Desktop computers even, so perhaps my statement is a bit hyperbolic. In my memory, computers were used to type letters, organize mailing lists, and play early computer games such as Oregon Trail and Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego (as well as a variety of combat games that I was terrible at). I recall being told by parents and teachers that it was important to learn about computers as a future job and life skill. At the time I didn't understand how ubiquitous computers would become. I viewed them as fragile yet clunky machines that needed five inch disks to store data and programs.

And now I live in some kind of science fiction reality where teenage friends take for granted that one can put the internet in their pocket. Unfortunately there aren't any flying cars or cold fusion.

I am struggling for a conclusion, but as D tells me, "We aren't in eleventh grade English anymore", and it is late, so I'm going to say goodnight.

What the blog?

Tonight's blog was going to be a pattern for a scarf I designed. I decided to put that off for another time because getting a picture of it online is a bit too daunting at this time of night. For appropriate backstory for that statement, please see yesterday's post about wanting a computer that isn't held together with duct tape and string. I'm exaggerating about the computer of course, but it can take hours to get pictures uploaded, and I'm too much of a perfectionist to use a camera phone picture taken at night.

I've been pondering what kinds of information to reveal about myself on this blog. I know that I could rarely be accused of "oversharing" in regular life, but I am also aware that I've linked to this website from Ravelry and FB and other social networking sites. My intention was to share creative things I'd made and witty thoughts and stories, and perhaps other people's creative processes and products. Sitting down at the keyboard tonight brought up all kinds of old baggage, which I really wasn't expecting.

If this is purely an Artist's Way style creative exercise or a personal therapy session, then maybe I should make it more anonymous. At this point I'm using my real first name, and an online nickname known to many friends, co-workers and work-acquaintances.

Today I'm feeling frustrated at work, broke, lonely, cold and tired. I made an agreement with myself to write every day this month, so here I am. Today isn't a very good day, and today's blog isn't a very good blog.

At one point in my life I was a pretty good writer. Then, for a variety of reasons that I won't get into today, I stopped, and picking it us again is nothing like riding a bicycle. It feels more like some analogy that is escaping me at the moment.

More tomorrow.

p.s. Ira Glass reminds us that creative excellence takes time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hidvElQ0xE

To do list - Meta edition

Inspired by: http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2009/10/22/my-current-to-do-list-october-2009/

This is in no particular order. I chose 32 items because it is my age, and I'm also due to meet some friends tonight.

1. Post a blog entry every day in November.
2. Jazz up the blog format and graphics.
3. Upload pictures.
4. Find an eye doc and get fitted for contact lenses.
5. Learn to walk in high heels (I'm deficient in some girly skills).
6. Learn to apply makeup (see previous note).
7. Attend Dickens workshops this weekend. Audition.
8. Make/gather/borrow costume for Dickens
9. Get to the gym several days a week. Weight training and cardio.
10. Start doing yoga (again).
11. Go to Disneyland for Drew's Day.
12. Reduce the amount of time I spend playing Bejeweled Blitz on FB. It is a symptom of anxiety and I know it.
13. Write thank-you notes.
14. Respond to handwritten letters with the same.
15. Mail Corey her dissertation inspiration shawl.
16. Go on more hikes.
17. paint my toenails.
18. decide to block or not to block Twitter followers who primarily post pron-ish links.
19. take myself to the movies.
20. get a new computer. Nothing fancy, just something that isn't held together with duct tape and string.
21. Find a new place to live. Nothing fancy, just somewhere I can bring a date home.
22. Find a new career path. While the babysitting and yarn-store and various pet-sitting, and faire-hawking jobs are enjoyable, I'm feeling a bit burned out on the retail-thing and I would much enjoy a "real" job for a change. Benefits and weekends off would be keen, too.
23. Laundry. I always need to do laundry. It should be on the revolving to do list.
24. clean out 20% of the items in my closet.
25. Weed my yarn stash and share/donate that which I do not plan on using.
26. Find a really great dress.
27. Collect fewer things. Let go of stuff that I have.
28. go somewhere fun. (I realize that this one could be more specific)
29. Have more music, more theater, more art, more singing in my life.
30. Cook more.
31. Spend more time at the beach and in nature.
32. Bake more.

Do it!

It is time to get started writing again. Sakkasie suggested that I try NaNoWriMo instead, but I'm not sure that I have a novel in me, and I think that 30 blog posts or short essays in 30 days is an appropriately challenging goal at this point.

I have a lot of things to say, but I also have many walls and filters that need to be put in check. Please bear with me as I use this opportunity to write while not having to make it perfect.

It doesn't need to be perfect does it?

New Baby

This is a picture of me (about age 3), holding my brand-new baby brother.

The Imp, who is almost three, will be getting a little brother later today.

For weeks now, his favorite topic of conversation has been, "going to the doctor, to get podi baba (little baby in Sri Lankan) from Mommy's tummy".

The Imp and I will be at the house while his parents go to the hospital, and if all goes as planned, by late afternoon we will be going to meet the new baby.

More cute pictures to follow.

On the road

The images, from 1909, are of Alice Ramsey and her travel companions - the first women to drive across the United States. The trip took them 41 days and they made use of 11 spare tires. They also attained “the terrific speed of 42 miles per hour.” For more go to: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history-archaeology/The-Centennial-of-Alice-Ramseys-Drive.html?c=y&page=2

My friend Kathleen and I (and her cats, Peace, Quiet and Jester) will spend the next several days driving from Northern California to New York state. In contrast to our foremothers, we've only budgeted 7 days for our trip, and have had the spare tire inspected on the off chance that it will be needed.

After deciding to make the trip together, we first began calling ourselves Thelma and Louise, since that is our popular culture reference to "women on a road trip". After reading about the centennial recreation of Alice's trip, (http://aliceramsey.org/) we changed our road names to Alice and Hermine to honor our successful traveling predecessors.

I will take pictures and keep a journal, but since I am not bringing a computer, pictures and extended road stories will be posted upon my return.

I don't plan to be checking email (often) while I'm gone, though I will be posting updates on FB and Twitter (I'm "mizmindmonkey") via my phone.

Phone calls and texts are very welcome, and will be the best way to contact me while I'm gone.

Onward!